If you are an overprotective parent chances are that your child will either develop into an overtly shy introvert or a totally out of control dissenter. Just like too much of something is never good, being a shadow around your children day in and day out is definitely not recommended. Parents should function more as facilitators in the development of the child at least after a certain age and not as someone who controls the development of the child at every stage. A little leeway and moderately monitored independence definitely helps create a more balanced and healthy child, which is able to hold its own in this big bad world. Unfortunately quite a few parents do not know where to draw the line and often fail to keep the natural instinct of fiercely protecting one's offspring within acceptable limits ,thereby ending up doing more harm than actual good.

Overprotective parents have to realize that they cannot hold their child's hand throughout its life. At some point of time, children may actually begin to resent parents for being so meddlesome in all their affairs. Worse still, they may develop into individuals who are insecure , seriously lack confidence and are completely unprepared to face the real world having being so dependent on the parents all along and never having been encouraged to interact and develop interpersonal skills .By guarding them and ensuring that they are there to take care of things every step of the way some parents deprive children of the opportunity to slip up, falter, make mistakes and learn from them, something that is so critical to the development of one's personality and social skills . Only when a child fails faces emotional and physical harm, suffers a broken heart or a few broken bones does he or she learn how to cope.

On the other hand you have children who have a little bit of that natural rebellious streak which just gets worse when they are not allowed to take their own decisions, cannot do things their own way and are always being told what to do and how to do it. Sometimes you don't even have to be a natural rebel. The frustration and forced dependence just riles them so much that even a docile child may end up revolting. Overprotective parents of teenagers especially often find themselves at the receiving end forcing them to introspect and figure out if they are going wrong as parents somewhere. The teenage years have their way of eliciting the strangest behavior and if you have made the mistake of being an excessively shielding parent you had better prepare yourself for facing the worst in case your child opts for the rebellious path rather than the diffident one.

Not all children who have led a sheltered life easily adapt to independent life particularly in the case of those who have to move out of home to go to college .That is if they are allowed to move away from their homes in the first place. The failure to differentiate between and identify what is right and what is wrong , on their own ,without help from parents which they are so accustomed to may send some spinning out of control. Often you may find these very kids indulging in binge drinking, substance abuse and petty crimes in a desperate attempt to blend in. A few others may end up being depressed and lonely because they just don't seem to fit in.

School and college administrators are always wary of over anxious parents. Not only do these parents not give their children the opportunity to lead a normal life, they also tend to meddle in school and college affairs. It is not rare to see a parent barge in to accost teachers whenever the child has an overload of homework, gets low grades or has not been given a slot on the school basketball team. In trying to do everything right in their children's lives and creating a perfect world for them, if one does really exist, parents fail to let them face the realities of life.

It definitely does not help to molly-coddle a child right up to adulthood and sometimes even beyond and then regret that the child has not turned out the way they had hoped it would. As parents they always have the right to judge what a child should or shouldn't do .After all the adage "parents know best" stems from the fact that they have spent a good number of years in this world and have definitely garnered more experience than the child. Parents would always want to protect their children from any bad experiences that they might have come across while growing up. However, parents should assess what their children are capable of and how safe they will be and sometimes let go and allow the child to experience things on its own rather than assuming that every path that the child takes is potentially dangerous. Only when parents step back ,take a reality check and let the child breathe can they be assured of their children growing up to be trusting, confident and independent adults.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Asma_Ashfaq

Procrastination is a widespread problem that never seems to go away. For many, this pesky habit began in childhood. Although we may look back on childhood as a carefree time, a child's life is structured around school. Parents and teachers rule, and children must obey.

Procrastination is all about dodging something unpleasant. Most of us want to escape from following the rules that are imposed by those in authority. Is your child starting to show signs of becoming a procrastinator? Does he postpone putting clothes away, doing homework, studying for tests, finishing projects, or being on time? Do you find yourself nagging, yelling or punishing to no avail? What's a parent to do?

These behaviors make sense if we look at them from a new point of view. Wouldn't you prefer to kick back, relax or play rather than go to work, do the laundry or mow the lawn? So would your children. Adults choose to go to work or do tasks while children have no choice. I call this type of delay tactic, "I don't wanna, and you can't make me!"

Did your parents call you lazy? Lazy is what they called you when you didn't do what they wanted. Do you tell your child that she is lazy? Negative labels can wound and continue to plague us years after we have left home.
When you are confronted with the "I don't wanna" behavior try the STOP, LOOK and LISTEN Plan.

STOP nagging. Take some time to be alone and think about the problem.
• What is your goal for your child? Be specific.
• Are your expectations fair and reasonable for a child this age? If in doubt, check it out with an expert.
• Remind yourself that most children don't want to do jobs they don't enjoy so why wouldn't they prefer to play?
• What is your attitude about doing your chores?

LOOK inside yourself. What are you afraid will happen if your child doesn't do his homework, chores, etc?
• Are you afraid that he will fail in school or in life?
• Are you afraid of what people will think about your child or about you as a good parent?
• Do you demand that your child do what you want because you want it that way? Why do you want it that way?
• Put yourself in your child's place. Remember when your parents or teachers put unreasonable demands on you.

LISTEN to what your child's behavior is telling you.
• Problem solve with your child and let her tell you what she would like to do.
• If you have a toddler you might make a game of picking up toys and clothes.
• You can discuss the problem with older children. Certain responsibilities are non-negotiable. Your son must do his homework, but let him decide whether he will do it before or after dinner.
• Set a timer and let your child do something she enjoys until it goes off. Turn your monarchy into a democracy and give your child a vote.
• Trust your children to tell you what they think and how they feel. Respect their ability to help find solutions.

When children are older have a family meeting and list the responsibilities and jobs that the adults think are appropriate. Let your youngster help with the list. Make a chart with three columns. Column one is the list of tasks. Column two denotes when or how often each item is to be completed. Column three lists a logical consequence that will occur if that particular assignment is not done. Allow your son or daughter to help decide what a fair consequence should be. Then, if you have to impose it, they will accept it more easily.

Criticism and punishment lead to fear of a harsh authority, which in turn leads the child to build up resentment and behave rebelliously toward authority figures in general. The outcome is procrastination. Use the Stop, Look and Listen Plan now and prevent your child from developing a lifelong habit that will lead to unhappiness and unpleasant consequences in the future.

Gloria Arenson is a Licensed Marriage ad Family Therapist. She is the author of How to Stop Playing the Weighting Game, Born to Spend, Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing, Freedom At Your Fingertips, and Procrastination Nation. For more information go to http://www.GloriaArenson.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gloria_Arenson

You will be surprised to hear that very few teenagers actually like to argue with their parents. It makes your teen feel unimportant and misunderstood.

Some teens will walk away from an argument throwing "You just don't understand!" your way, while others stubbornly keep trying to get you to hear what they are saying - and parent and teen wind up in a heated argument.

Arguments drive people apart, and you and your teen are no exception.

Why is it so easy to argue with a teenager?

Lack of expression - Due to the teen's lack of communication skills, their questions are easily perceived as criticism by parents - and we get defensive.

Desire to be independent - Teens want to be independent and have some input and control over their lives. They want to be able to make small decisions on their own, without the parent telling them how and when.

Curiosity - Teens are starting to get interested in life and what goes on around them. In their awkward way, they are attempting to get at the reason for our actions. They form opinions and wonder if our way is the only way.

Inflexibility - If your teen feels he is being controlled or pressured, he will either resort to stubbornly ignoring you and what you are saying, or he will argue.

In fact, your teen could get so focused on getting his way or to have his opinion heard, that nothing else will matter to him. For instance, repeatedly asking your teen to do his homework could result in him not doing his homework at all - and your teen will not consider how this will affect his grades.

A few simple steps to avoid this type of stubborn opposition:

Give your teen responsibility. Instead of arguing with your teen about homework, monitor his or her grades. Your teen may do surprisingly well. If not, you have a basis to sit down with your teen and discuss a plan on how to improve his or her grades.

Allow your teen to make decisions on matters you know he can handle. At the same time, let him know that you are ready and available if he needs help. Involving your teen in decisions about him does not take away a parent's power, but it shows your teen that you accept him as an individual and are ready to give him a chance.

Assign tasks, but step back and let your teen handle the details. There is a very good chance your teen will do the task differently than you would. For some parents it will not be easy at all to let the teen try it a different way when you know what works, but allow your teen to experiment.

Either you and your teenager will find that there is another way to come to the same result, or your teen will have to admit, after several wasted hours, that your way is the right way after all.

Some tips to avoid getting into heated arguments:

Don't allow your teen to get loud - Your teen needs to learn that not everybody has to think alike and that it is possible to discuss matters peacefully even if you don't share the same opinion.

You are in charge - Parents can end a conversation at any time and continue as soon as you both calmed down. Don't allow your teen to get rude.

Control your emotions - What your teen is saying might make absolutely no sense, lack any logic, or may be impossible. Don't let your emotions take over; stay calm, focused, and discuss facts.

Listen and ask questions - Restate what your teen is saying or asking to make sure you both are still on the same page. Find out where his or her opinion is coming from.

Once your teen feels that you are paying attention to what he or she is saying, whether you are validating it or not, they will no longer feel the need to argue in order to get their point across.

It also teaches your teen that he or she can indeed work with you through important life decisions. You will be surprised how quickly you will see a difference in the way you and your teen interact.

Christina Botto, author of Help Me With My Teenager - A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Workshas been involved with helping parents and teenagers resolve complicated issues for more than 14 years, observing and developing parenting strategies.

This article is available for reprint with author's resource box intact and all links live and clickable. Copyright is reserved by author.

Parenting your teenager doesn't have to be frustrating - visit Parenting A Teenager, where parents can find Christina's articles and book, news for Education K-12 and College, LIVE Counseling, and a variety of other tools and resources for parents of teenagers.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christina_Botto

Most people who do not have an endless supply of money find that they make purchase decisions centered upon three criteria. They make a wish list and base spending on the following: Is it a necessity for basic survival, a convenience, or a luxury?

However, many children don't need to make these kinds of decisions. They just convince their parents that all their desires are a necessity for basic survival. In other words, if their friends have the latest electronic device, owning it becomes a necessity. However, providing kids everything they ask for is a guaranteed recipe for developing a sense of entitlement.

Talking with a group of parents the other night, I found only one who had the backbone to say no to her kids when confronted with begging for money. I heard some lame excuses for not having the courage to say no, including, "Everything now is so much more expensive than when we grew up. It's too much to ask kids to earn the things they want."

Our job is to prepare kids to live in today's world, not yesterday's. That means telling kids to put their "wants" on their personal wish list. This provides time to decide if the "want" is a necessity, a convenience, or a luxury. If the "want" is a convenience or a luxury, it is worth earning.

Here is a useful activity to do with your kids.

1. Brainstorm all that it takes to keep your child's life going. Let the list flow freely as your child adds their ideas. You'll probably find that most of your child's suggestions will relate to fun, friends, and freedom. That's okay. All part of the plan. The idea is simply to come up with a list of what you and your child think is needed and wanted to keep their life running smoothly.

2. Identify which are needs and which are wants. A need is a necessity or essential requirement to live. A want is a desire, wish or longing. Wants can be divided up as a convenience - something that makes life easier, faster, better, more efficient, or more fun. Or a want can be a luxury - something wanted because it's nice, enjoyable, or beautiful, or because it brings comfort, satisfaction, or status.

3. Distinguish the needs from the wants in chart form, separated by a double line.

It seems only logical that if you're taking care of all or most of your child's needs, they should start buying some of the things they want. Parents are in a great position to teach their children how to spend, earn, save, and invest wisely as soon as purchases start crossing the double line into the wants category.

How? By giving kids lots of opportunities to buy the things they want rather than waiting in expectation for us to provide it.

By being given opportunities to practice providing for their own wants, children are being given opportunities to experience the first steps toward financial independence and freedom.

Bottom line: Wise parents teach their children the difference between needs and wants so that they'll know the difference as adults.

Jim Fay is the co-founder of the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. and one of America's most sought-after presenters in the fields of parenting and school discipline. His techniques are revolutionizing the way parents and professionals raise children. To learn more about Jim Fay or Love and Logic, visit http://www.loveandlogic.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jim_Fay

Parenting does not come with a handbook. In reality when you become a parent you are just supposed to know what to do. Most people parent according to how they were raised and what they learn from watching other parent. Some people read books and talk with professionals to learn how to parent. The bottom line is that everyone has to learn to parent in one way or another.

A good option to get some parenting skills and learn more about parenting is to take a parenting class. Parenting classes are aimed to help parents get ready to tackle the demands of parenting. Some classes are specific to certain aspects of parenting. You can take parenting classes to teach you something general or for help with a specific problem you are having.

Help with a Problem

Parenting classes are perfect when you need help with a specific problem. You should be able to find parenting classes that address many common issues in parenting, like discipline, bed wetting and temper problems. These classes are designed with your specific problem in mind and are a great way to learn how to handle whatever is going on.

You will also be in the class with other parents who are facing the same problems you are. This can be a great form of support to help you through the issues you are having. It is nice to know that you are not alone.

Learn a New Method

There are many approaches to parenting out there. Maybe you have decided that your method of parenting is not working and you wish to explore a different method of parenting. Parenting classes are perfect for this. You will be taught how to parent your child according to the chosen method.

The class will serve as a support group and a place where you can go to get information and help. You will be taught whatever you need to know to start implementing this new parenting method into your life.

Gain Certain Knowledge

Sometimes you can use parenting classes even when you do not have a problem. Maybe you just need to learn something new, such as breast feeding. You can take classes where you learn something new that you can use in your parenting.

Maybe your parenting style is working fine and you have no problems. That is fine, but parenting classes are not all about handling problems. You may just want to better yourself as a parent and they can be quite handy for that.

Learn how to be a better parent! There are free information for you to learn more parenting tips. Visit our website today ==> http://www.parentingskill.info

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joseph_Then

All parents need a good parenting resource of their own. Since parenting is such a tough occupation a parenting resource can help make things easier for any parent. How and where can a parent find a relevant parenting resource? There is no one sure and perfect parenting resource for everyone. A parent may have to determine for himself/herself which parenting resource is helpful and applicable. There are however specific areas where one can get a parenting resource. You can get your parenting resource from the following:

The Book and Video Haven

Any place where they sell or lend a vast selection of books and videos may be a parenting resource. You can go around looking for a bestseller parenting resource or something created by experts in the field of parenting and psychology to get a good parenting resource. Surprisingly, an experiential parenting resource account or even fictional stories of parenting may be useful parenting resource for the discriminating parent.

Comprehensive Sites and Links

Not surprisingly, the internet can have every kind of parenting resource imaginable. You have the option of checking out sites that will provide you with a comprehensive parenting resource section or one that will provide you with specific parenting resource information. You can also check link or .net sites if you want to have a brief overview of some other sites that may be good places for a parenting resource.

Message Boards and Others

You may prefer a parenting resource that’s highly practical and that comes from people who have actually experienced parenting. You can use parents’ forums and message boards as your parenting resource. In this kind of parenting resource you can swap stories and practical tips and information. A lot of parents may warm up to this kind of parenting resource because it is conversational, light and a fun way to go about talking about parenting.

Formal Classes and Support Groups

A clear and structured parenting resource may come from such formal areas as parenting courses and support groups. This type of
parenting resource will surely offer highly professional pieces of information. There is no doubt that if you enroll in a parenting resource class, you will get a load of theories and actual practice accounts from trained professionals in the field of parenting. Support groups can also offer parenting resource that may be both categorized as formal expert quality and personally supportive and uplifting in nature.

People You Know

A practical parenting resource source would be people you actually know. Your own parents, family, friends and colleagues may each be a parenting resource. Ask these live, actual parenting resource people what they can share based on what they know and their experience. This may be the cheapest and best parenting resource you can ever have.

However and wherever you choose to get your parenting resource make sure that your parenting resource is applicable to you and your family. Remember, not all families are the same.

Get more of Veronica Fisher's FREE Parenting Resource at http://www.parentingadvicetips.info.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Veronica_Fisher

As the parents of children growing up in today's society, you may be alarmed to read about the statistics dealing with drug abuse among kids. While many of these adults are familiar with the older drugs such as marijuana and cocaine, the newer ones may be confusing. The following is a brief explanation of some of these "New Age" drugs and the symptoms to look for if your children may begin abusing them.

One of the drugs that you may have heard of is "ecstasy," which is the street name for MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine). This drug causes hallucinations and also acts as a stimulant. Used by many children much in the way that people used LSD in the sixties, the effects of using MDMA are much the same as those caused by amphetamines and cocaine. These include sleeplessness, confusion, depression, anxiety, paranoia, and drug cravings. It also causes muscle tension, profuse sweating, and an increase in blood pressure and heart rate. Usually found in a white pill form, this drug is also known as "Adam" and "XTC." If you suspect that your child is taking "ecstasy," you should talk to him and explain the dangers involved in using this particular drug. If a user ceases to abuse MDMA, there are no withdrawal symptoms that are known to accompany some other substances.

While many parents know what cocaine is, many do not realize that crack is also a form of this drug. Powdered cocaine is mixed with water and baking soda and heat is applied, leaving a rock of purified cocaine. This crack rock is then smoked, giving a more intense "buzz" than regular cocaine can give. Due to the activity of smoking as compare to snorting this drug, the effects of crack last for a much shorter amount of time.

The symptoms of crack use are much the same as they are for regular cocaine. These side effects include hyperactivity, increased heart rate, and higher blood pressure. Due to cocaine's effect on the appetite, excessive use can lead to serious malnutrition and a substantial weight loss. Long term or large quantity use can lead to a heart attack, stroke, seizures, respiratory failure, and even death. As the addiction to crack is mostly psychological, there are no physical withdrawal symptoms when the user quits.

Prescription drug abuse is also becoming a growing problem among America's youth. One such drug is oxycontin, a pill that is used as a painkiller. Also known as "hillbilly heroin," young people tend to smash the capsules, allowing them to snort or swallow a more potent dosage of the drug than the time-released capsule will allow. The resulting "high" is compared to the buzz that people receive when doing heroin, thus the nickname. Many drug centers are reporting large numbers of cases of oxycontin addiction in young people, many of which had no legal prescription for the drug.

The symptoms of this drug include euphoria and may be accompanied by stomach and bowel problems. It can also cause respiratory problems and organ failure when used over a long period of time. When a long time user is taking off the medication, they will experience withdrawal symptoms similar to those of other addictive drugs, such as heroin. If you think that your child is abusing oxycontin, you should confront him immediately. If he experiences withdrawal symptoms, you should seek medical help as he may become very ill and disoriented.

These are just a few of the many drugs that seem to be becoming a problem with today's youth. If you have any questions or concerns about your child's possible drug usage, you should talk to a doctor or other health professional to make sure that you have all the information that you will need to help your child overcome his drug dependency.

Find helpful and creative ideas for parents and grandparents while you shop our affordable kids furniture. For more information, visit this article on wooden toy boxes.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Scarlett_Capelli